Post 24: Anticipation

So I am off to the Handmade Fair at Hampton Court. It’s on for three days and for some reason I have chosen to go on day three. This means that my Facebook and Instagram feeds are full of beautiful and fun photos of what everyone else has been up to and I just want to go!
Last year was a year in which I got engaged, got married, saw Rome for the first time, and had my tiny ray of sunshine / super demanding diva, but my trip to the Hampton Court show still made my top five list of things I did and enjoyed.
In fact the show was a shining memory in a pretty confusing time. When I had my little one at the end of July I  had the usual lack of sleep, terrible feeling of responsibility, and a crushing fear of not being able to cope. When I went to the Fair it was the first time I had left my daughter and been more than a five minute dash away from her. I missed her alot at first because I worried that she would need me but I knew she was in safe hands  (her Dad, my Dad and my Bro – think three men and a baby but with less flappable leads). After a little while I found myself relaxing a little, and while looking at all the lovely craft materials and brilliant things that other people had made, my jaw unclenched for the first time in over a month. It took another month or so for my shoulders to unhunch but the fair is where it started, where I begun to change into who I am now, a bit of who I was, but with a big dollop of being a Mum in there too.
This year I went big, when my husband said I needed a treat there was only one thing I wanted to do. I got the most expensive tickets for Mum and me, and I have been looking forward to it ever since. This year I will miss little one but not because I think she will need me but because she’s great company and I love her hugs. I will also take the chance to remember who I am and to shop lots without worrying about nap time, lunch times, loo breaks. Tomorrow is my day off.

Knitting in an effort to avoid housework.

Post 24: Anticipation

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